A few years ago, I had an accident on skates. I went down a track at high speed when a car passed me and it scared me. Despite being a seasoned skater, I made a primary mistake: I stretched my knees and threw my body back. That would have been enough for a big fall, but I just had the medical release for exercise, after minor surgery. (Yes, Mom, the doctor never mentioned skates!). During the fall, I realized I was falling in wrong side. Thus, I turned my body, but not enough. The result was that my face hit the pavement, and had a slight sag in the left cheek, a cut on my lips and multiple bruises throughout the body. After a brief recovery, I got up and went to my car to check the damage. My face was unrecognizable and my white shirt was completely red with blood. What made me decide it was best to go home and change it, and then go to a hospital. It was a nice way to debut in doctoral program 15 days later, after my second medical release. At that time, a friend asked me in jest, “Ana, how do you survive? And I replied in a tone slightly ironic: If you survive your childhood, you survive anything”.

Richard Armitage played John Porter in Strike Back. Source: RichardArmitageNet.com
So today, I was thinking about that phrase, when I said for the first time many years ago and how it directed my life. Every crisis, every obstacle, every disappointment, I just told myself: You have been through worse. You will survive. I learned how to survive. And in the process, you can get hard like neck meat.

Richard Armitage played John Porter in Strike Back. Source: RichardArmitageNet.com
I do not remember anything about the physical pain of the accident. In fact, my memory it is associated with good things. The freedom, the speed, daring, courage, my adventurous child, and then in the care of friends and family and access to privileges never before achieved in the university (a room with a computer for exclusive use) even with all my merits academics. (Do you remember when you were a kid and took a little tumble doing an art whatsoever’s? That feeling!)
However, emotional pain remains for longer and stronger in memory. The emotional pain has a unique ability to come back to mind and hurt again, and again our feelings. And it is so hard to spend even a second in the company of those who cannot help us flourish.
Most memorable audition?
It was for a big Hollywood blockbusker. I went to shake the director’s hand and the assistant leap up and slapped my hand away – the director’s not shaking anyone’s hand today. I felt like a leper and then had a terrible audition.
(Richard Armitage, TimeOut-28oct2009)
And the negative feelings caused by pain can completely change someone’s life. Therefore, we become survivors rather physical, but emotional damage. A Jungian analyst Clarissa Estes in her book Women who run with the wolves says that in such situations if we are able of survive, just it is a victory. For many, the power is in the word itself. However, she warns: there comes a time when the threat or trauma, is already part of the past. Therefore, we have to go the next stage of survival, healing and future development (Estes, 1992).
If we remain in the stage of survivors without advancing the development, we will be limiting our energy and reducing our power in the world. Instead of making the survival the main part of our life, it is better to use it as one among many insignia. Humans deserve to be covered with beautiful memories, medals and decorations for having lived, fighting and left victorious. However, it is not good to base the identity of the soul only in the done, in the defeats and victories in the tough times. This attitude can be limiting for future development (Estes, 1992).

Richard Armitage played John Porter in Strike Back. Source: RichardArmitageNet.com
Clarissa makes a comparison that attitude with a small hardy plant that —without water, sun, nutrients — produced a single leaf. Despite the circumstances. However, the rainy season has arrived and it is time to thrive. Thrive means have abundance, developing force fully, express themselves fully. Thrive means putting themselves in situations of exuberance, light and nutrition to thrive there. That is our destiny. Thrive with flowers and dense leaves. Then she tells us, the first step towards development is to honor our inner child offering her a song, a poem, a drawing or a gift by way of recognition of his heroism, his grit and his triumph over adversity (Estes, 1992).
This way of looking at the past have some effects: it provides a new perspective, a compassionate interpretation of the past, to show what the person experienced, which was made of it, which is admirable. It is the fact of admire the feat, instead of living it, that sets us free. Thrive, not just survive, it is our destiny on earth (Estes, 1992).
“Richard is a powerful actor with a wide range, and we’re very excited to be handing Thorin over to him. In this partnership, we need Richard to give us his depth, range, and emotion as an actor — and we’ll make him look like a dwarf!”
(Peter Jackson, The Hobbit, EW)
Reference
1. Destiny’s Child • Survivor
2. Estes, C. P. 1992. Women who run with the wolves. Editora Rocco, Rio de Janeiro.


