English version - Undisclosed Desires

The scorching heat on the land silences the land. It is all so quiet I can hear the song of the thrush¹ in the branches of an old poplar². cfilip filip filip codidio quitquiquit. The solitary bird sings! A song of undisclosed desires. I take a step toward him, but he flies away. And I hear what at first seems to be the beating of rain on dry ground, which quickly turns into the sound of thunder. The black steed of Guy of Gisborne³ appears in the distance, driven at high speed by his rider. It is an overwhelming sight!

I leave the road and I hide me behind poplar. Within moments, they will pass me by and not want to be seen. However, as if sensing my presence, the horse suddenly stop and rose up on its hind legs, risking throw its rider to the ground. ─ Cursed animal, Guy of Gisborne run high, holding tightly to his body to the steed and echoing my own thoughts!

The horse snorts, shakes his head, but the rider is like a statue on his rump high. My heart races and I fear being denounced by its increasingly out of step pace. The horse turns its neck, hitting the leg of his rider. Its eyes cannot see me, but he feels my presence behind the poplar.

Guy’s eyes roam the vegetation in the direction indicated by the animal. Everything is so quiet I can hear the tinkle of bridle, the panting of the horse, the sound, the smell, the friction of leather on the body of the mighty steed and, finally, the roar of the sword.

─ Who is there? Come coward! He orders, still looking on my direction.

─ My Lord, I am Lady Marian, I answer courteously, revealing to me from behind the poplar.

─ Lady Marian? ─ he says. His voice is low and deep, almost a whisper, as if he didn’t want to be heard. Are you by chance hiding from me? He asks.

─ Of course, not ─ I say. Barely form the words. I feel like a female thrush enchanted by a love song.

─What are you doing here,  Marian, so far from home? This road is dangerous; the Hood’s gang has it as them territory.

─ They will never make me ill, I answer without thinking.

─ Not? He hesitates for a second, his heart pounding, a dangerous mix of genius and desire, and then it gathers momentum, his eyes getting a cold disdain. He keeps his sword and dismounts from his horse.

─Still, I would rather that you not move away from his father’s house, and walks alone through remote places. There are other dangers lurking in these forests. Soldiers, merchants, outsiders, cruel men tired of endless days on the road.

─ Who would dare to harm me here? I ask. Just a short walk to my father’s house.

─ My dear Lady, you live in the light, you don’t know the darkness of men’s hearts ─ he says. Accept my arm and let me take you for home.

─ In fact, I would be a fool if I do not listen to your advice ─ I answer. And slowly I approach him. I feel your body shake like a horse tied to a short reins and his eyes stare at me as if nothing else existed. My face touches his neck and I feel the suavity of the curly hair of his nape like a feather in my face. My hands touch the thick belt that surrounds his waist. Seeking the hilt of his dagger. His breathing is slow and deep, and his  slightly woody scent invades my nostrils, and inebriate to me for a brief moment. I unsheathe the dagger; I take the sharp edge to his throat. And a  thin red line appears under the pressure of the dagger.

He recoils shocked for away from me, his posture alert, like a wounded animal.

─ Marian! He says incredulously. What I’ve become? A fool!  He says, the anger harshly controlled  in his voice.

_ See, my Lord, I can defend myself from men who run the roads. I declare triumphantly. And, I’m talking seriously!

─ Take … he takes it out the sheath sword and spear to the ground. Stay also with the sword as proof of my stupidity.

There is nothing I can say to calm his anger, so I take the sword from the floor, clean it, and I turn to his black steed.  I take it  by the reins, stroking his horse mane and pull it slowly, starting to walk back home.

Step in front of Guy, my hands touch him lightly, inviting him to accompany me. We continued in silence. I can hear the sound of his cloak behind me and annoyance of his thoughts. When we reached the end of the woods I stop and I turn to him, returning his weapons and reins of his horse.

─My Lord, forgive me. I say feebly. Do not want you to get upset with me and pass deal me with  indifference. My voice sounds shaky, and I am surprised with the sincerity of my words. He looks at me.

─ Never. He says simply. Nor that this was my wish, I could be indifferent to you. You treat me like a dog and as a dog I must follow you forever.

─Do not say that!

─Do not say what?

─ I cannot stand seeing him talking like that! I shall regret for ever by my unreason.

─ Why the regret? ─ he asks. One way or another, I am only an animal for you. He says. And in a sudden movement he takes me in his arms.

His hands firmly holding my body close to him. And feel the warmth of his skin radiates through my body, awakening my femininity. I feel his breath next to my face and my lips open slightly. I desire him, and unexpectedly, he kisses me! And rather than repel it, I want to reconcile the violence in his heart⁴. I want to exorcise the demons from his past, and satisfy the undisclosed desires in his heart.

My heart runs fast and my body responds so readily to his touch, that for a moment I think I could lie me down with him, there as a pagan priestess, with only the sky of poplar as a witness. But then, he  keep me away   with vehemence.

─ Ready, My Lady, we’re even ─ he says. You stole my weapon and I stole yours. From here you are safe. There’s your father. And back to me the horse and I will follow my path in peace. He says with a slight irony in a  gentle almost innocent voice .

I can feel the color of my face intensified by anger and wounded pride. However my words are weak, almost infant.

─ You are cheeky! I raise my hand to give slap him. But he holds my hand, preventing me.

─Better not, Marian. You’ve hurt me today, and I do not want that you repent again!

─ Take your weapons and your horse. I respond with anger, freeing me from his arms and throw his weapons at him. He takes them with incredible agility.

─Accepted my dagger, My Lady, as a memory of mine. He says, assuming the mask that normally uses. Cold and loveless.

─Sure, if that’s what you desire. I say proudly, taking the dagger and turning my backs on him.

─Marian ─ he calls me, his voice almost a whisper.And I hear the song of the thrush far away. Because I listen to you!

─ Do not bother me. Forgive my madness. He says. His eyes reflect the storm of feelings inside him . A mix of vulnerability and pride. And I see how much he has suffered, and unable to hurt him again, I say sweetly:

─ Come Guy, take me to the gate house. He follows silently beside me. I want to calm him, to reconcile the violence in his heart. I want to recognize his beauty and to satisfy the undisclosed desires in my heart.

Reference and Note

1. To access the meaning of thrush as Power Animal, I just followed my intuition. Early in the story, we have this songbird announced to Marian the arrival of a love song. The song of Marian and Guy of Gisborne as all love songs is full of uncertainties, fears and insecurities. The Thrush teaches us  to sing a song of love that we have to create our own repertoire, expressing our individuality (each male thrush may have a repertoire of over 100 phrases). Also, he reminds us that  to relate, we need to  open our channels of perception and recognize the expression on the other.

Song Turdus philomelos

2. Already  the poplar tree in the Celtic tradition represent the uncertainty. According to this tradition, people linked to poplar are not very self-confident, but they are courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy,reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

3. The tale is based on the Robin Hood series, produced by BBC One and transmitted between 2006-2009. Images are Richard Armitage as Guy of Gisborne and Lucy Griffiths as Marian, characters from the series.

4. Undisclosed Desires-Muse

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